Parenting

I was watching Bones last Thursday. Cam, a character who recently took in her niece as her daughter when the niece's parents died, was struggling with the dilemma of letting the girl go to Hawaii for Christmas instead of spending it with her. At the end of the episode, Cam says to her niece/adopted daughter that she can't go to Hawaii and needs to stay in DC so they can have their first Christmas together as a family. The girl is outraged and Cam's response is, "Look, it is my job to make sure you are loved in this world and if that makes you furious, then so be it... I cannot let you go off to Hawaii to spend Christmas away and have you think it doesn't affect me."

I wish every child could hear words similar to that. Obviously the situation wouldn't be the same, but I think every child should know that a) they are loved in this world and that b) love doesn't necessarily mean always getting what you want, but rather getting what is best for you. Working with students this past semester has shown me that a lot of parents have the tendency to give in to their kids. Not only have I found it frustrating, but also really sad. Our goal in life should be to help each other and influence others for the common good, and we have no greater chance of accomplishing this than to be leaders for children. In St. Catherine's (of Siena) Dialogues, God explains that we do a secret sin by withholding grace from other people by not helping them grow spiritually in prayer and deed.

I don't know what kind of parent I'm going to be. On some level, it really scares me because I can see how things can turn out negatively. On the other hand, I want the shot to do my best to help a child grow. I guess for now, I have to settle with those that I guide at work and church. I think I will also work on practicing how to practice tough love with others in my life to seek what is best for others and not just what will please them. God help me. God help all of us.