So this experience actually happened back in February during the school year, but I need to write it as a reminder to myself of trusting in God and thus trusting in the people God puts in my life.
In February, I was going through a really rough break with my boyfriend. I had been struggling since the end of January and things were just not going my way. I started praying this chaplet to St. Therese of the Little Flower:
St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love; ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more. Amen.
I didn't get my response until 3 days after I had finished the chaplet that I got a response, and it was well worth the wait. That day, I decided I needed a complete cleansing of self. I went to daily Mass at St. Anne's and ran into my TTM sister Jenny. She wished me well on my quest and I had her good feelings to usher me to the Basilica. At the Basilica, I spent my time in deep prayer. I prayed the rosary in front our Lady of Peace, which made me feel a lot more open to having a calm conversation with God and quieted a lot of my troubles. I then talked to God in the main chapel, and got the song "Lord, You Have My Heart" stuck in my head. That song made me remember the words of St. Augustine "My heart is at rest only when it rests in the Lord." It made me realize that I have to align myself with God's heart and trust that his plans include my hearts desires. As I sat talking to God, I also realized how much I worry by focusing too much on the future. God is the God of the present. He is in the here and now, and that is where I need to be to be with his heart and live in his peace.
After making these realizations, my friend was going to be arriving soon, so I decided to wait in front of our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary. I sat in the side chapel without taking note of my surroundings, but once I was settled I saw God was pleased with our talk. On the altar were 3 roses, 3 roses for 3 days after the chaplet, and on the wall was a line about being a rose of Jericho growing strong and producing much fruit.
Seeing that was an affirmation of my realizations as well as God's love which I really needed. It was the message I needed to see when I needed to see it. Now that I'm home for the summer, I will have to remember God's providence in the midst of my own struggles of being separated from my TTM sisters and constant Church events and the troubles that come from being away and returning home. May God bless us in all times of uncertainty.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Living in Community 1
"Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of God"- The Sermon on the Mount
One continuously recurring theme of this semester has been the importance of community. My friend and TTM sister, Jenny, knew I've been struggling with a little bit of depression and feelings of detachment since coming back to AU. In between Mass and Eucharistic Adoration, she showed me this booklet her mother gave her with little reflections on little snippets of readings. It said that those who are poor in spirit understand their need for God and their need for others. If we were rich, we would be completely self-sufficient and be able to do everything on our own. But when we know our need for others and for God, we have the ability to call upon that and to extend past our weak selves into something greater. Hearing that from Jenny made me realize how much my pride gets in the way of reaching out to others, especially God, to help me with life. God wants only the best for us and to make us truly happy. That's where the kingdom of heaven comes in-- if I could learn to realize my own failings and weaknesses and how much greater God is and is able to help me, and if I could put away my pride, then I would be able to live in happiness and have heaven on earth. I pray that for all of the world today that we may recognize our own poverty, only to gain in the richness of trusting God.
One continuously recurring theme of this semester has been the importance of community. My friend and TTM sister, Jenny, knew I've been struggling with a little bit of depression and feelings of detachment since coming back to AU. In between Mass and Eucharistic Adoration, she showed me this booklet her mother gave her with little reflections on little snippets of readings. It said that those who are poor in spirit understand their need for God and their need for others. If we were rich, we would be completely self-sufficient and be able to do everything on our own. But when we know our need for others and for God, we have the ability to call upon that and to extend past our weak selves into something greater. Hearing that from Jenny made me realize how much my pride gets in the way of reaching out to others, especially God, to help me with life. God wants only the best for us and to make us truly happy. That's where the kingdom of heaven comes in-- if I could learn to realize my own failings and weaknesses and how much greater God is and is able to help me, and if I could put away my pride, then I would be able to live in happiness and have heaven on earth. I pray that for all of the world today that we may recognize our own poverty, only to gain in the richness of trusting God.
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